Wow.. a new post

Ok, its been forever since I have updated on here. Not that its a blog hot spot or anything. As a matter of fact, the only comment I have received about this blog was during a recent twitter battle. It was called queer and gay!! SO... I will try to make my new post as gay as possible as to hold up to the lofty expectations.

Seeing this is an update with really no theme, I will just ramble a few things that are on my mind.

ME:
Not a whole lot going on with me. My job is going well and my personal life is abysmal. But hey, why complain? Its difficult dealing with a loved one who has terrible taste in the opposite sex. It causes strain, especially this close to the holidays. Dealing with someone who is 1 to 2 IQ points away from being declared mentally retarded is tons of fun. This is the guy who gives all guys a bad name, yet always seems to end up with the girl, a place to live and the ability to say and do whatever he wants with zero repercussions. Its very aggravating.

Florida Gators:
#1 in the nation. #1 in the BCS poll. The odds on favorite to repeat for the National Championship. A possible 2 time Heisman Trophy winning QB. Top rated defense. Yet, they give me a heart attack week in and week out. Its been a struggle this year watching my beloved Gators. We have 4 games left including the SEC Championship game against the #2 team in the Nation to determine if we will play for the big prize. I am not sure my heart can take it.

Orlando Magic:
The season is new, and we have a revamped roster. One of which I am very excited about. Its still very early to get a read on them. Probably wont get a solid one until the return of Rashard Lewis and Ryan Anderson returns from his ankle injury. In the 9 games we have played so far, we have shown signs of complete dominance that few teams will be able to match. We have also shown signs of being mediocre, foul prone, bad defensively, getting out rebounded etc. We have the pieces to win it all this year. I do think we will compete for the best record in the league once we get healthy and begin to get the rotations down.

Well, that's the only 3 things on my mind. Most people that read this are my good twitter friends. Funny, sometimes it feels like my twitter friends are better than most the friends I have had for years. Although I hope that doesn't sound too queer and gay.

How To Be A Gator Part 1 - Rivals

In a few short months, the greatest sports team in history will be taking the field to defend their national championship. Yes, i am talking about the one and only Florida Gators football team. Every year Gator Nation grows larger from the fans who abandon their inferior teams to jump on the Gators rocket ship of success. So i have decided to take the hands of these lost souls and welcome them into the Gator family. But they need to be schooled. Its not about throwing on an orange shirt and doing Gator Jaws. Its more.

This is part one in a continuing series of blogs dedicated to introducing new fans to the team and teach them the glory and honor of being a Gator Fan.

Part 1 - Your Rivals

You can not root for a team without first knowing who to hate, and there are plenty of teams to despise as a Gator fan. You must know, through jealousy and lack of success, other people tend to really HATE the Gators. So you must be well equipped to do battle with these confused and lost people. The Gators play in the toughest conference in the nation, The Southeastern Conference, or as you will more than likely hear it called, the SEC. Most of the rivalries come from the SEC.

Tennessee Volunteers - This team has arguably become our biggest in conference rival. Some may say the Bulldogs, who i will discuss soon, but in my opinion, the Volunteers have truly become the most bitter rival. I say this because, the Vols SUCK. We have owned this series over the past decade and longer. They have ugly Popsicle colored uniforms, they play "Rocky Top" over and over again, their fans are more inbred than actually human. I believe there is a 2 tooth minimum to purchase season tickets. We usually play them the 3rd game of the season, and is the Gators first big game, and first test on how well they will play in conference... which usually means we beat them..... because like i said, they are out little bitch.

Georgia Bulldogs - A close second, and for many years, our numero uno rival is this bunch of hicks from that state to the north. They like to think of themselves as elite, yet have not mastered the English language yet. Their fans grunt like a dog and howl like idiots, they drink Pabst Blue Ribbon and eat corn dogs all day. Most drive trucks with gun racks and fancy the confederate flag as a license plate. This is the only team to hold the series lead in victories. Because of the hatred between the two, the game is played on a neutral site in Jacksonville, and titled the "Worlds Largest Cocktail Party". Although we have pretty much owned them over the past decade, this is still a hotly contested rivalry dating back 1914. You MUST HATE this team to be a true Gator.

Florida State Semenholes - Our biggest out of conference rival is FSU. They were once an all girls school and then were allowed to play football. Most of the players are still girls. Florida State was actually the dominate team in the nation during the 90's. That is when the rivalry really heated up. We end the regular season with them, so every year one team usually can act as a spoiler for the others title hopes. Although there has been ZERO title hopes for the Semenholes for a long time. They have the most annoying cheer ever. The Chop, it drones on and on. Turning the fans into robotic javelin throwers. Their fans are very fair weathered. You only see them out of their huts when they win. They lose, and they run back under ground.

Auburn Tigers - Another SEC rival. This team has a serious identity crisis. Although they are the Tigers, they fancy calling themselves the War Eagles. Who knows why. I never really bothered to find out why, mainly because i don't care. The Gators have been handed several heart breaking loses to this team. Their fans are rather arrogant for some odd reason. Rude, snobby, unclean. They have anger issues because they play second fiddle to the Alabama Crimson Tide in the state. Alabama sucks too, but have a storied history, unlike the War Tiger Eagles, or what ever the hell they call themselves.

Louisiana State Tigers - I actually like LSU fans. If you ever travel to a game in Baton Rouge, they are always cooking and friendly, offering you food getting into good natured fan jabber. The problem is, their team sucks. They think they have the loudest stadium in the country, until they play in The Swamp (the nickname of Florida Field.) They have gained on the rival list over the last several years. There gain on the national scene is short lived however, and will soon go back to being a good but second tier team compared to the Gators.

Those 5 are big ones during the year. That is not to say other teams are not equally as hated. Ole Miss has slowly creeped into my sights. They have beaten us several times even though we have been heavily favored. Alabama is a big one, but we dont play them every year. We meet them in the Conference Championship games at times, and will have a home and home series every few years. Alabama fans are pretty much douche bags with there toilet paper on a stick roll tide things. Miami used to be near the top. No matter what you hear from Miami fans, Florida did not drop them off the schedule because of the competition. The SEC broke into 2 divisions, and we had to drop an out of conference opponent to accommodate an 8th SEC game. I wish we did play them every year. Miami actually chickened out of joining the SEC in favor of the weaker ACC conference. They are thugs and their fans are mostly out on parole.

Always remember... the only time you root for another team is if it benefits the Gators in the polls. Its ok to root for SEC teams during the bowls, but i have been known to root against Tennessee at times because i hate them so much. Hone your skills at bars during game day. Even if you have no idea what you are talking about, just yell loud and tell the other fan how much their team sucks. Its important to remain dignified in the heat of battle.

Next time i will dive more into what being a Gator means. Give you names and facts to help you understand the history of the Gators.. in the mean time learn this small phrase... If You're Not A Gator, You're GATOR BAIT!!!!

Star Trek (2009)

I remember first hearing about the re imagining of Star Trek a few years ago. My first thought was a big fat "Oh Brother", why on earth are they attempting to do that. After all, not only will the movie be facing the fickle public, who seem to be getting slightly tired of the wave of remakes, but also the dreaded trekkie. The insane fan base who hold the gauntlet of the Star Trek mythos like no other.

Now, I am not a trekkie. I am a fan of Star Trek, having grown up watching the show in syndication like everyone else did. Never watched The New Generation, or Enterprise, or Deep Space Nine yada yada. I also feel the Holy Gail of Star Trek movies is the Wrath of Khan. For years i felt there is no way Khan could be topped in the world of Star Trek. I held that belief all the way up until today.

JJ Abrams Star Trek is truly a masterpiece of science fiction story telling. The movie grabs you right from the beginning and never lets you go. Its fast, sharp, witty and beautiful. The cinematography is fantastic, the special effects are spot on and the actors, well i will get into that in a minute. This isn't a movie to appease the die hard Trek fans, this is just a lot of fun for any movie fan. It should be this years Dark Knight, unless there is something really mind blowing coming out.

Myself like a lot of people felt the most difficult part of retooling this franchise would be to make the audience not make a comparison with the cast of the original and the new cast. This is what surprises me the most about the movie. The cast is perfect. Instead of replacements, they are more like an extension of the original cast Chris Pine's portrayal of James T Kirk is amazing simply because of the shoes he had to fill. He does not make you miss William Shatner one bit, nor do you forget about him. Pine makes it his own, all the while paying tribute to Shatner. That is to be said for the rest of the cast as well. Zachary Quinto (Spock), Karl Urban (McCoy), Zoe Saldana (Uhura), Simon Pegg (Scotty), John Cho (Sulu), Anton Yelcin (Chekov) are all perfectly cast. I was curious on how they worked Leonard Nimoy in, and was very happy with the results. He has a larger part than I expected, and has one of the biggest knot in the throat moments when he utters the famous, "I am and shall always be, your friend" line.

Its not 100% perfect. The plot takes a bit to get ahold of and there is a "love interest" that took me by surprise (and no not the green woman.) The Romulan bad guy Nero is played well by Eric Bana. My only problem was, except for the opening, there wasn't a lot of moments with him to really get your blood boiling with hate. You hate him, but i really wanted to hate him. These are just small things compared to the over all experience of the movie.

Its the best Star Trek movie of all time. I say that with great reverence to Wrath of Khan (which is still incredible.) This is finally a re imagining done right. My hats off to Mr. Abrams for giving a new generation a Star Trek to be proud of. I cant wait for the next installment.

I am Magically Disgusted

@ColleenBurns @jabberjim i woke up happy and then remembered why i cried myself to sleep last night #orlandomagic #fail

As perfectly tweeted by my fellow Magic friend Colleen this morning, the Magic made every fan cry last night. In an act usually reserved for college football season, i threw my Magic hat across the room in disgust. It truly was one of the most frustrating sports viewing expieriences in recent memory.

The Magic basically shut down with 5 minutes to go in a game they had well in hand. Why? I have to blame coaching. Simple as that. It literally seemed like the coaching staff just told the guys to wing it in the closing minutes. Don't worry about the fact they are facing the defending NBA champions who, despite missing Kevin Garnett, are still an expierienced, potent team.

The coaching staff also seems to forget they have an all-star center, who should be touching the ball. Even Dwight himself is scratching his head at the lack of touches he gets in the clutch. As Howard states in that article, a player needs the ball to get into an offensive rythmn. Case in point, Ray Allen, cold for most of the series, yet Doc Rivers still gets him the ball. Ray came through at a crucial point in the game, hitting a big 3. You HAVE to give your superstar time to shine. Yes they defended Howard well. Yes Howard missed some shots and is a liability on the foul line. But he has to have the ball. He is a good enough player to make something happen. Inexcusable you have the cornerstone of your franchise on the floor and he is relegated to a spectator. If Dwight Howard is to reach the levels of Lebron and Kobe, he needs the ball enough times during the game to work on his defender, to find a weakness and exploit it.

I will be watching game 6. But I will be nervous. Even if the Magic build a 30 point lead in the 3rd period, i will still not feel confident. They must learn to shut the door. This must happen with your superstars. The Magic had a legitimate shot at winning this series 4-1. Establishing themselves as a contender. The only thing they seem to have accomplished in this post season is establishing a reputation as a team who do not know how to close out games. That is a bad position to be in. They have the players, they have the superstar. Game 6 will show what kind of metal this team is made of.

I love the Magic... but man they piss me off.

Late night contact

You came in a surprise, almost ghost like. With kind words out of nowhere. My heart stood no chance despite the wall i was trying to build.

It seemed so mutual. Time together, shared laughter and song. Music filled my world like never before. I fell quickly. My wall was gone.

The months went fast, like a minute. The fear began to build. Like trying to stop the water, its impossible.

Last words were not spoken. You were gone like a surprise, almost ghost like. With words of distance. Heart was broken.

Now there are still kind words out of nowhere. Reminding me of the music. Not sure of the meaning. Trying to build my wall.

My heart stands no chance.

The NBA Suspention rule...............................sux

Gearing up for Magic/Celtics game 3

Its going to be an interesting game. If the Magic play with the same intensity shown in the first half of game 1, the Celtics will find themselves in trouble. However, the Magic are without their interim starting point guard Rafer Alston for slapping Eddie House in the back of the head after a House 3 pointer. Yeah, Eddie was doing some jawing and may have gotten an elbow in, but that doesn't excuse Alston's behavior. The slap was actually kind of funny, my sister used to slap me like that when i was 8 for acting like an ass. Upon reviewing the play, Stu Jackson suspended Alston for 1 game. Of course he didn't see House's giving Alston an elbow when he ran by.



Switch channels to the hotly contested Lakers/Rockets.

Now call me crazy, but Kobe blatantly, yes blatantly, gave Ron Artest an elbow to the throat. Video replay clearly shows the elbow, and Artest, rightfully so, gets irate. What happens to Kobe? Nothing, nada, ziltch, ZEROOOO. Why? Simply because its Kobe. Now Artest is certainly not the most beloved player in the NBA, but a shot to the throat like that can do some serious damage if connected right... a lot more than a little slap to the back of the head.

I'm sorry, but Kobe deserved to be suspended for his actions. If Jackson can honestly say that elbow was not intentional, well, he is burying his head in the sand.

Kobe is a great player, but he should be treated like anyone else in the league when it comes to flagrant actions like that.

The NBA.... Where Amazing Hypocrisy Happens

Martyrs (2008)

I cant quite figure out how I feel about this movie. It's classified as a Horror, and there are Horror elements, but it certainly is not a Horror movie in the classic sense.

It centers around Lucie and Anna. Lucie escapes from a captivity in which she endures unspeakable levels of torture and isolation. After being placed in a home for troubled youth, she meets Anna, and the two form a strong bond. Lucie is a tormented soul and grows up seeing horrific visions and haunted by an unknown spectre. It then veers into a revenge movie, in which Lucie seeks to exact revenge on a family she is convinced are responsible for he captivity and torture. This is the point of the movie it shifts gears, and focus's on Anna, who finds herself the victim of the same captivity endured by Lucie. It moves with brutal efficiency, yet can be repetitive.

There is no doubt this movie is brutal. Many reviews have called it "torture porn." I honestly would not go as far to call it that. The 2nd half has many cringe inducing moments, and as the plot unfolds you begin to find the reasoning behind the brutal torture that is inflicted. But there are no rape scenes, and the torture is not sexual in nature.

It is a movie that sticks with you. Some people may not be able to handle the subject matter, but for those who can, will find it a powerful but flawed movie. The only problem I have with it, is it just doesn't know what kind of movie it wants to be. You think you are watching one kind of movie, and then it quickly switches gears, not once, but twice. That being said, i recommend it. Turn the lights off and get ready to be freaked out a little.

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End of the Line (2007)

I saw the boys over at Aint it Cool News do a write up on this movie. It got me pumped to see it. Boy was i disappointed.

It centers around a small group of strangers who band together after the subway they are traveling home in shuts down, and they are then faced with a group of religious nuts armed with daggers in the shape of a cross running around killing people screaming about saving their souls. There is ZERO believability in that the slow moving fanatics really are not that intimidating.. some kids, an old woman, a few nerds... they are not scary at all.

The movie starts out promising, but just falls apart. You keep expecting the hero's to be doing battle with the so called demons or something sinister rather than a cool aid drinking cult.

There are some ok scenes, its just not a very scary or interesting film... I updated my iPhone apps in the middle of it.